o^.=.^o

Photo + PS filter = I’M AN ARTIST PAY ME!!

Ok. So those of you who follow me on twitter already know the whole thing, but basically I was referred to a Kickstarter by @IronSpike which is basically some lady (or a guy pretending to be some lady) who is “selling” her services of converting photos “to Oil”.

Her Kickstarter * Her Main Website

Now, anyone who knows ANYTHING about photoshop can tell immediately that all they’re doing is applying a filter to the photo. Looks to be watercolor, though a couple of them might be cut paper. Regardless, she’s turning around and selling these for $20 a pop, which amounts to about 30 seconds of work. I’m not kidding; I did this in just under 3 minutes, and that was including taking the photo itself.

I hate seeing people get ripped off. And I hate people pretending to be skilled artists when they’re not. Applying ONE filter to a photo takes zero skill and minimal photoshop knowledge; you just need to know where the “filters” menu is. And yes, there is the part where Kickstarters are supposed to be used to fund a large single project and this one seems to have none other than “Give me Work”.

So I sent a very blunt In-Kickstarter “question” to the guy running the campaign, as follows:

So…. basically you spend 30 seconds, apply a filter in Photoshop, and then try to sell people the results? Damn, man. That clearly must have taken a lot of time to develop such a skill.

And by that, I mean learning how to convince people you’re really an artist.

My question though is: How do you sleep at night knowing you’re deceiving people? How are you not wracked with guilt and self-loathing? Seriously. I’d really like to know. Because, like, I’ve actually spent the last decade practicing my professional cartooning skills (which is actual drawing by hand and NOT scanning photos and applying the “outline” filter), but if this whole “Pretend to be an Artist” thing actually works out to where you don’t feel like a complete sham and a failure, than maybe I’m doing this whole “Actually working to be an artist” thing all wrong.

I didn’t expect a reply for at least a day, if at all. But lo and behold, 5 minutes later, I get THIS gem:

Thanks Lis for your kind comments.. for one thing.. not everyone knows how to use a computer graphics program.. when I was working on cars.. the shop charged a $100 for what took me less then 15 minutes to do.. though they charge by the hour.. when I was a carpenter.. I charged $100 to hang a door that took 30 mins to do.. everyone charges more then the time it actually takes do something.. I am sure you do not take a loss at whatever it is you do…

second thing.. Roxy does not take 5 minutes to do her impressionistic oil pieces.. she does it in 4 sittings.. not a 5 second deal.. it might take her 2-3 hours to do the work though it is not at one time…

third.. it is only $20 to get the PNG file of the digitally created image that I make.. if a person knows how to make an oil replica of their image.. they don’t need me or anyone else to do it for them…

not sure if you just sit at your computer looking for people to criticize… you do seem like a busy body and from your remarks.. don’t have a clue how free enterprise works.. I hope you sleep well at night even though you attack people and their motives without really considering the real facts..

you might be an artist I have no knowledge of that and can not comment but as for being an obnoxious busy body.. i give you an award.. please refrain from sending any more of your vitriolic remarks my way.. Thanks.

OH MY GOD.

There’s too much here, I don’t know where to start.

Main thing is: these pieces do NOT take 2-3 hours in 4 sittings. Not unless she only makes one mouse click per sitting and she spends the rest of the time masturbating. I mean, my GOD, woman. You’re either the world’s biggest liar, or you have the worst case of ADD in human history.

Also, I loved the super patronizing bit at the start, with the “thank you for your kind words…” Yeah. Cute. I’m not a child, dude. Just say what you wanted to say. “fuck you!” that’s what you wanted to say, wasn’t it? Just be honest.

…Oh wait, you don’t know how. I’m sorry.

So yeah. Apparently because I called this guy and lady out on their scam (which, clearly something’s fishy, if he goes from saying she’s the artist to “it is only $20 to get the PNG file of the digitally created image that I make”), I’m an “obnoxious busy-body”. Trying to keep people accountable and honest is being a busy-body, everyone! Just let this guy cheat old ladies out of their money because they don’t know anything about how computers work! Because if you say anything, you’re OBNOXIOUS.

Right.

I sent this in response, and then reported ‘em to Kickstarter:

2 minutes in Photoshop, watercolor filter. S’all I’m saying. http://twitpic.com/9tyuq2 Perhaps Roxy is lying to you about the effort? Because I assure you, anyone who knows the process that goes into creating artwork will be able to tell that there is no way these take 2-3 hours to complete. Unless 2 hours and 55 minutes of that is spent deciding which filter to use. It also takes no skill to select a filter from a drop down menu and hit “OK”; this is where your carpentry or car work analogies fall apart.

Maybe Roxy can fool people who know nothing about Photoshop, or computers in general. However, the images she is making (or are you making them? You switched in your response… is there even a Roxy? Or are you simply confused?) will not fool anyone who does.

After I send this message to you, it will be my last, as I have nothing more to say to you. I do have a bit to say to Kickstarter however, but it’s more of a quick “hey, you should really take a second look at this….” Maybe 20 minutes out of my life, and then you’re back to being a bad memory. I just felt the need to address what I felt was a dishonest business.

And if by “Obnoxious Busybody”, you mean “being referenced to a ‘scam’ kickstarter by another cartoonist and feeling the need to call them out on taking advantage of ill-informed people rather than stay silent while they rob people of their money”, than I gladly accept that title. At least I’m honest about who I am and my true intentions. How about you, sir?

And if you still can’t understand why myself, or anyone else, would find fault in what you’re doing, I truly feel sorry for you.

Honestly, this took up a little more of my night than it should have. But seeing this level of dishonesty, and THEN to throw it back in my face as if there’s something wrong with ME for even pointing it out, kinda pisses me off. And if I look at this kickstarter any longer I WILL get really mad so this is all I’m going to say about it.

But, yeah. Bruce or Roxy or whoever you are? Here’s a tip: If you’re going to start a scammy digital art business, don’t do it online. That’s where the computer literate live, and they will catch you.